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Thursday, January 15, 2004

We have always been at war with Oceania 

I happned to come across the homepage of my high school the other day. There's a picture of my graduating class on there, though you'll notice a blacked out silhouette kneeling in the front. That silhouette is me. Why has my school written me out of its history books? They must have found about this blog. No school would take credit for giving birth to this monstrosity.
On the other hand, there are some sexy pictures of my roommate in the photo gallery.

Back by popular demand 

And ready to whine about the long slow decline of the National Post. Get this: some guy named Gerry Nichols believes that CBC asked its satirical (and sadly unfunny) news show This Hour Has 22 Minutes to make Mary Walsh (also unfunny) charge Harper and kiss him, in order to undermine his bid for PM. They did this since they know Paul Martin will continue high funding for the CBC, while Harper will destroy their network. After all, the show didn't send a hitman to knee Paul Martin in the groin when he became PM (or somesuch).
Some points:
1) Steven Harper will never ever be PM of this country. So it really doesn't matter how badly people treat him. He had no chance before he announced his run.
2) The show in question, being an alleged comedy show, does not actually represent the opinion of CBC. It is under no obligation to avoid political bias.
3) Paul Martin isn't funny (a trait he shares with a certain show). Dying is easy, comedy is hard, and Paul Martin-based comedy is damn near impossible.
4) Somewhere in that badly written, horribly argued column, Nichols should have mentioned Doris Day. During the last Federal Election, the show responded to Stockwell Day's plan for citizen referendums by starting a petition to change Stockwell's first name to Doris. They got more than enough signatures to put the question to a public referendum. This stunt did undermine the Day campaign (which was doing a fine job of undermining itself at the time) and exposed Day to ridicule, though it did nicely expose an inherent problem with citizen referendums; namely, that people are silly.

I also read a high-on-rhetoric, short-on-facts column by Peter Foster (not online, sorry) about why Paul Martin's seemingly positive meeting with Bush actually proved that Martin was working for Stalin. Apparently Paul Martin presented Canada's approach to the economy as generally beneficial, and recommended it to other countries. This controversial move somehow knotted Foster's panties.
One line in particular caught my eye: Mr. Martin also managed to embarrass, if not downright insult, the US president by switching into French during a joint press conference. Yeah, why should French speaking Canadians get any answers from their PM? Maybe if they stopped making cheese and starting learning English...Really, I understand Bush isn't too bright. But being threatened by people that speak another language is just insecure. Besides, as president, he must be exposed to the language of international diplomacy sometimes. Maybe if Bush ever tried international diplomacy, he wouldn't be so embarrassed.
Just because Bush and France disagree on some major issues does not mean that the French language should be banned in Bush's presence. I feel that I shouldn't have to be explaining this to anyone. Guess Paul Martin should have spoken Freedom. Everyone loves Freedom.

I do remember a time when the Post wasn't mind-bendingly retarded. Maybe they should get Conrad Black back. Or not. In a couple of weeks, the National Post will make its online content inaccessible to non-suscribers. I previously thought there was a financial reason for this decision, but I now realize the Post is trying to protect its moronic columns from the wrath of bloggers.

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